Do unto others…

Note from Blackjack:

Another week, another deadline missed. In other words, here’s another article from NightLife.

Ahhh, once again I, NightLife, take over the corner for your reading pleasure or displeasure as the case may be. But that is irrelevant. While I admit the first article was merely a venting of gaming frustration, it will get better… trust me. Now while BJ’s on his little siesta I’ve talked to him and we came up with the idea to expand on some of the original six points or was it seven—I forget but I’m not going to load the doc right now to check.

The first point I made in my little list was titled “Quit your bitching.” I’ve decided this would be a good essay to put together to expand on the point a little and to give advice. Now that little rave started out of frustration at a couple of my players getting mad at another player and spending the next 45 minutes complaining to me, the guy next to him, and anybody who walked by the living room that night. While I freely acknowledge everybody’s right to express themselves, it must be done in the proper time and place.

The “Quit your bitching” or kwityerbitching however you want to put it is something all GMs—and for that matter most players who’ve had to listen to someone’s temper tantrum for longer than five minutes—should know. Everybody in the game can’t have everything go the way they’d like them to. Hell, even in the real world a lot of things don’t go my way but complaining about them doesn’t get me anywhere. But I digress, but that could be because it’s nearly five thirty in the morning and I’ve got a CD player screaming in my ears. The complaining that often goes on in games can be broken down into separate aspects:

Player to GM: (The most common) This comes in many forms from the blatant 3-year-old stuff of “But why?” or “This shouldn’t be happening to me.” (This is the kind of stuff that some people should be glad my swords cost way too damn much to ever use on somebody!) To the unbelievably rare part of the game: logical reasoning. “Wait a second, we took down three bugs out of seven so why are five still beating on us?” (O.K., my mistake, no problem.)
Player to Player: This still comes into the realm of players who are 20 going on 3 with things like Player X: “What do you mean you left my guy behind!” Player Z: “Could it be that you haven’t bothered to show up in two and a half months!” To the aforementioned little scuffle in the article I wrote “PAYBACK”.

The Player to GM is by far the more prevalent of the two and it usually causes more problems. Most GMs, including myself, put a lot of effort into running a campaign and having a group that size—anywhere from 4 to 10 players—can be a real workload on top of everything that goes on in the real world. I.E. keeping your sanity, your job, your girlfriend (significant other), your car, grades, etc… When game time rolls around, nothing torques off a GM quicker than someone whining in the background: “No, three creatures were too easy, come on Mr. GM, have one get up just so they can kick our butts a little more” (OK, you asked for it.)

NightLife’s little rule: Never try to torque off an obsessive compulsive coffee drinker. Or never complain when things are actually going your way or the GM can always make it worse.

Hey, cows for some. High explosives for me or Giant 3M notes for Lance when he wasn’t trying to have his Mutant Koala’s take over the earth in Rifts. (No wonder that game went defunct.) Most of the time the griping is really nothing more than an annoyance to most except to the offender and he/she is just trying to get someone else mad. Quit complaining over the little stuff during play and if you feel it is a big enough issue talk it over later—most GMs and people are human and willing to listen. I.E. don’t complain when a target number is 9 instead of 8 or when the GM says enough is enough and it has to stop. Listen to him/her and get back to the game—after all that’s what all this stuff is. Remember, if you really don’t like the way things are, start your own game or do something else—nobody is forcing you to be there. Overall most groups have their problems, and for the most part in a good group these problems remain small.

Now I do have to take a player’s aspect in this stuff because most everyone has had a GM who decides to make his/her life a living hell for some reason or another. It does happen and nobody likes it when it does. Not too long ago I was in a Rifts game where the GM (Lance) decided that because I didn’t agree with his little Robo/Rifts/Land of the Pink Bunnies/Invasion of the Mutant Koala who are all named Walla/world that it was a good idea to outnumber me 5 to 1 or worse on a regular basis. I think this time in particular they were Neo-Sapien from the cartoon Exo Squad. Some originality, eh? To pound on us. Needless to say when a player knows more about the system than the GM and decides to start using paired swords to cut weapons in half and using tactics instead of the shoot, duck, shoot back at the enemy school of combat. When it was all over a couple of lower level PCs were dead and the rest of the party pretty torn up but we won. When this kind of stuff keeps happening to you all the time and no matter what you do it keeps happening again and again, you know something’s wrong. Especially if players speak to you and voice concern about your continual bad luck. If you think a real problem has come up, talk to the GM and if he’s a man or woman as the case may be, he/she will listen and fix the situation. After that it should get better; if however he’s nothing more than a little mutant and can’t be reasonable, walk. I mean just get up right there and leave and/or don’t bother to show up for the next session and make sure the GM knows why. I did and took a player from that group with me who didn’t like how he was being treated either. As a result that group folded and no one else who didn’t outright leave at the time wanted to play that type of game anymore except for the GM. And hey, remember there’s nothing you can really do if the GM doesn’t like you for one reason or another—you can’t pull things out your butt to survive forever if he/she is really gunning for you. Leave. You’ve got better things to do than put up with that kind of covert abuse. If you really want to play and are willing to grow as a player, people will notice and you’ll get into other bigger and better games.

This whole article still breaks down to what your mom told you: treat others as you would want to be treated. And in most cases if they’re not bullies or mutant nerds who want to be bullies, they will treat you in kind. And if you’re in a bad situation, walk.

I did, kept my self respect more than once and found better groups.

Branson Hagerty (bhagerty@thunder.temple.edu)