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Easy Rider
Well gentle readers, just when you thought it couldn’t get any worse…
The GM who forwarded this submission states “this story seems to be too dumb to be true… but it is.” I feel for you, brother.
The players had discovered the location of a secret research facility run by Aztechnology. Basically, the site was a huge enclave where the Azzies were using the populace as lab rats for their designer drugs and BTLs. The site was located a good 40 klicks from the nearest civilization, and there was only one road to access it. So the players (one of whom had an Aztechnology contact) head out to the site to see if there are any ‘goodies’ to be had.
The players enter the area, and head for the research clinic compound. Knowing that any ‘goods’ would be there, they wander up to the front door. Armed to the teeth. The Troll is carrying a Vindicator on a gyromount. The mages all have their spell locks turned on. The PhysAd is grinning ear-to-ear brandishing his dikoted katana. Needless to say, security sees them coming and trips the silent alarm. When they get close to the building (looking for all the world like Gunfight at the OK Corral) security orders them to leave the area. The runners open fire, blowing the front half of the building apart. To make matters worse, the troll starts chucking grenades through the now battered down front doors. Meanwhile, Aztechnology has already sent a response team.
After pulverizing half of the building, one of the mages finally gets a clue and says “Hey guys, do you think they might have called for backup?” The troll looks up from his rampant destruction and says “Bring ‘em on, we’ll scrag them too!” The majority of the group thinks about the statement, and decide to punt out pronto. Even the troll rethinks his plan, and decides to scram. They run back to the rigger’s van, and with a squealing of tires, hit the road. All of the team that is, except for one mage, the one with the Aztechnology contact. He takes his sweet time sauntering over to his bike and follows. As you may have guessed, the mage is the clueless connection.
The following is a blow-by-blow account:
Mage: “Tell me how far I am when I am no longer in visual sight of the clinic.”
GM: “You are just barely, but you are only about a klick away.”
Mage: “I can still see my friends in front of me?”
GM: “Yup, being on a Blitzen has its advantages.”
Mage: “Cool. What’s going on around me?”
GM: “Make a Perception test.”
Mage: “OK. Five Successes.”
Rigger: “Hey, let me get in on that. Hmmmm, three successes.”
GM: (being really nice). “Okay, you guys get a glimpse of several security vehicles roaring down the road towards you. Looks like a panzer or three. Probably from Aztechnology would be your guess.”
Mage: “Cool. I call up my contact.”
Rigger: “Ohhhh Shit.”
GM: “Which one?”
Mage: “My bud in Aztechnology” (who happens to be a rigger/team leader that is working security on a heavy project—and the player knows about this).
GM: (shaking his head while the rigger looks for something to clock the mage with in real life) “Okay. Yes, Aztechnology. Ortiz.”
Mage: “Hey Ortiz, good to hear your voice. Listen, I hear you guys had a little problem recently…”
GM: “A little problem? What are you referring to?”
Rigger: “Oh shit, Jim’s (the clueless mage) going to get us killed.”
Mage: “Well, I heard that your little experiment outside the city just got hit. I can see the security vehicles heading in response.”
GM: “You can? What’s your exact position?”
Mage: (to GM) “What’s my exact position in relation to the clinic?”
GM: Now approaching five klicks (Being EXTREMELY NICE and not wanting to kill off the runners even though they deserve it). “The security vehicles have passed you.”
Rigger: “The panzers are by us? Oh shit, I am punching it to the max and heading for the sprawl. So long, Jim.”
Mage: “Cool. Hey Ortiz, I am about five klicks from your clinic. Those panzers sure did look nice as they passed us. We’re heading back to the city now. I’m on my Blitzen, you can’t miss me.”
GM: “I understand. Are you having any problems?”
Rigger: “Am I so far away from him that there is no chance they’ll nuke me as well?”
GM: (to Mage) " What speed are you maintaining? "
Mage: " I’m cruising at 50 ".
GM: (to the Rigger). " Yup, the Sprawl is rising up before you and you’ve dusted the Mage ".
Mage: " No, I’m not having any problems Ortiz. Why do you ask? "
GM: " I just wanted to know exactly where you were and if you got hurt in the skirmish? "
Mage: " No, but those guards were toasted pretty easily. "
GM: " The guards were toasted pretty easily? I see. So where are you now? "
Mage: (looking to GM) " I’m about 10 clicks away, heading back towards the city ".
GM: " Thanks, bud. And don’t mind the small attack airplane that’s following the security vehicles, OK? "
Mage: " No problem. I’ll wave to them when I see them. "
GM: " You do that. I have to let you go. Have to attend to some matters here. "
Mage: " Cool. Have a good one ".
GM: (to Mage) " You see the plane Ortiz was talking about becoming larger in the sky. Looks a lot like an A-10. What are you doing? "
Mage: " I wave to the pilot, but he probably can’t see me yet "
GM: " You distinctly see the launch of a missile off the wing of that plane ".
Mage: " I give him the thumbs-up sign! "
Need I say more?